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среда, 14 сентября 2011 г.

Is Cheating inevitable in the relationship? What is it all about and how to deal with it/ prevent it ever happens? Will your partner always love and support you? Probably every person being in a serious relationship asks himself/herself that sort of questions. This is very subjective for every person, but I will gladly try to make it more transparent and clear.

First of all, what is the relationship missing, if one of the partners is looking for some extra experience in the other places except his/her own home? Here all of us should define what are the most valuable features and character sides that someone likes about you - it can be very simple from a lovely smile and friendly expression to deep-down self-motivation, inner peace and harmony. Think about it that way - if you realize this key factors your partner and other people appreciate you for( in fact, you can ask them that question too - what do they like and dislike you for? ), you can pull that trigger and just change people's opinion and attitude towards you simply by adding some qualities into your behavioral pattern. This skill takes some flexibility and presence - you need to take control over what is going on right now, evaluate it objectively and change something, if you need to. Though, the hardest part here is to keep that inner control button ON all the time - it doesn't mean you cannot relax and rest, be confident ALL the time - no - all it takes is just to get the habit like this (usually takes around 3 weeks to implement naturally the habit into your lifestyle and from there it will be as ordinary as to breathe, for instance).

Cheating in most of the cases occurs when your partner is missing something and doesn't have enough confidence or will to bring it up for the conversation and together reveal the real reason for this desire. I truly believe through the dialog a lot can be changed - simply talk about it and you will see how more inspirational and lively the relationship can become. At the same time it is crucial to realize that it is not just about physical matter that the cheating takes place - sometimes our loved ones are missing platonic affair (it could be anything - from hobbies to sexuality) and are looking for it in a different place. To be more specific and practice-oriented, not to just read and forget about it, do a quick exercise - take a piece of paper and evaluate your current relationship in all the spheres of mankind activity - absolutely essential to be honest and objective (if it not so easy to evaluate yourself, imagine there is another couple just like you are in the world, someone else, that have the same features and problems and happiness as you do). This is the key aspects you need to take into consideration:

  • Physical activity ( sport, sexuality, outdoors)
  • Health (diet, fresh air)
  • Finance 
  • Career / business
  • Arts and hobbies
  • Platonic affair ( emotions and feeling)
  • Self-motivation and development (education)

Evaluate on the scale from 0 to 10 your relationship in each of the aspects mentioned above and see what is missing - the main idea here is to balance it up, bring everything to the level of the one most developed, you will see what you need to work on most. Do this exercise from time to time and I am sure the relationship will become more stable, enjoyable and fun. In fact, you can practice that together with your sweetheart and see if the results match - this will show you how the approach of each of you differs from each other. Good Luck!

 

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